Because Words Sometimes Hurt Our Brains!

A Brief Summary of Events So Far!

The Childhood Deeds of Jeff The Transgendered Platypus Part 1 (this time there will actually be a part 2!)

Well one day Jeff was hanging out down by the billabong with his mother, Eda the Beaver and he was very bored. He looked everywhere but could not find any of the other animal children who usually hung around at the billabong. He asked his mother and she told him: 'I don't know, maybe you could take up surfing? You know something you could do yourself without the other children.' Much perplexed by Eda's response (not to mention the fact that he was certain his mother name was Eva), Jeff went out to see if he could find anyone to play with.

As he circled the billabong he came across Bob and asked him where all the other animal children where gone. Ever the tactful beaver Bob replied: 'Oh, they went over to play cricket beyond that hill over there so that you wouldn't see them because... how can I put this delicately...your a bit strange, they don't really like you very much & you always win!'

'Humpf!' Said Jeff, and waddled back to collect his gear and head off looking for the other children.

As he travelled away from the billabong he invented a new game to pass the time. He threw his cricket ball into the air as far as he could, and then he threw his cricket bat into the air after it, and then he threw his boomerang into the air as far as he could. He then ran as fast as he could with his webbed feet flopping of the ground and his ass waddling over and back at great speed and he jumped in the air (about a foot off the ground) and snatched the ball out of the air and then he leapt even higher (about a foot and a half) and he snatched the bat out of the air and then...TWACK!...Jeff got clocked, as the boomerang flew directly into his head. Not one to be phased by a hefty smack on the head, he continued in this fashion until he reached that hill over there where he found three fifties of animal children playing cricket. (Now if you know anything about cricket you realise how ridiculous a sight that was, I mean for the most part the point of the bloody stupid game is to hit the ball so that no-one could catch it, but with a hundred & fifty players on the pitch there is nowhere to hit it that someone wasn't standing).

Well dispite how ridiculous the game was Jeff ran down the side of the hill and into the middle of the game knocking over three times seven, plus nineteen, divided by two, minus four, plus eleven of the children and pissed off the remainder (which noone really know how many that added up to cause their bloomin' animals they don't use calculators but it's safe to say there was plenty of them!).

So an undisclosed number of children threw their balls at Jeff (Cricket balls...Ok! Behave!) and Jeff knocked them all out of the way with his bat (Cricket bat...Ok, obviously he wasn't carrying a small blind mammal with leathery wing!).

So then an undisclosed number of children threw their bats at him and he deflected an undisclosed number of bats minus one (that actually was a small blind mammal with leathery wings named Alfonso, who flew past Jeff and crashed into a nearby tree!).

So then an undisclosed number of children (minus seven Possum children who were confused by what was going on and decided to play dead, and three Ostrich children who were also confused and buried their heads in the sand!) anyway some of the remaining children threw their boomerangs at him and amid the confusion of balls, bats, a bat and the others the result was a series of TWACK...TWACK...[insert appropriate number of TWACKS here]... and THUNK! (Oy what the F was that?).

Of course, by this time Jeff was well used to being TWACKed in the head and with Alfonso, the seven Possums and three Ostriches and the three times seven, plus nineteen, divided by two, minus four, plus eleven of the children out of action, Jeff easily beat the remaining children 309 for 7 against 120 for 5 with 2 overs (which noone really understoon cause itr's bloody Cricket mate!)